Talking to my friend Cynthy about my blogging and about life when I was visiting Hong Kong…and she mentioned to me that what I am blogging may change people’s lives. That words are strong, and lasting. Maybe even subliminal. That I should think more before I blog, because people take it seriously and to heart.
I think of that childhood song:
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
I remember my mom saying how that was such an untrue statement…..that sure getting hit with a stick and a rock in a playground hurts, physically…..but being called a bad word or laughed at by your piers is really painful….and changes us.
WORDS CAN HURT.
I think of Mark Zuckerburg and the Social Network, from the movie, he was somewhat of an outcast….not fitting in socially. Was spiteful for not getting into such exclusive Harvard clubs.
Don’t you think that was motivation, that was life changing….him feeling left out of the norm? He probably threw himself at his work, at programming, at finding a way to prove himself to those who didn’t deem him worthy. I’m sure words he received in his lifetime were hurtful, painful. And maybe he got out this pain by programming.
And then in the movie it talks about his ex-girlfriend who he blogged about in a negative manner when she broke up with him…..he took out his anger by programming….it was his outlet…as well as his blog. And yet, his ex was really upset about those blog posts….and said those are written in stone because they are on the internet….and cannot be erased.
Not to pick on Mark, I think many exceptional, talented people are this way because they may be genius’s. We all only have so much time on this earth. Some of us focus more on EQ (emotional intelligence) and others on IQ (intelligence).
I just wonder how early in our lives words we hear change us? I mean, I don’t really remember being 1 or 2 years old….yet many words were said to me. It was a blur….and there are some rather interesting milestones in my childhood that are burned into my memory: happy, sad, and just overall monumental in my development as a human being.
That is what makes us unique…..It makes me think HOW FRAGILE life is…..both in the development and shaping of our lives as human beings, and the ease of being killed so unexpectedly.
I am actually excited and honored that Cynthy could tell me my blog can change people’s lives. That is really awesome actually. I hope people can connect with these words….and its a positive effect and not a negative.
But we have to be strong….we have to expect people are going to talk down to us in certain times, and we have to build up a tolerance. I think living and working in New York City toughened me up….and yet at the same time I was told by girls when I was graduating high school not to change (well, that was what they signed in my yearbook)
NOT TO CHANGE? Is that even possible….we change every day, we grow, we adapt….
Anyway, just thinking outloud and brainstorming….words, blogs, stories, emotions, feelings.
Comments
I agree Mike, talk can be destructive. And for many, programming or channeling energy into something positive is a way of coping, if they’ve got a little “fire” and determination in them. Unfortunately, not everyone has a strong self-identity and are deeply affected by negative comments. Some of those folks have never thought about “who am I? or what am I capable of? And they believe what others say because they’ve got a weak “base”. They’ve always relied on others to define who their “self” is. They spend much of their life trying to emulate others, trying to attain what they imagine others see in them, needlessly seeking the approval of others. And the battle never ends. It’s kind of sad, really. And I think it stems from how they were raised and from experiences thay had early in life.
Some live a “sheltered” life, always taking the easy road, never taking their own risks and always “settling” instead of discovering their own potential. I guess it depends on what motivates people and what these folks determine as their personal best.
I say this because I’m a little older now, have had some life experiences, had to tough it out a few times and have taken some risks in order to grow.
Yes, I remember my parent’s “sticks and stones” lecture but I also recall being told that mean people are not happy with themselves and that they usually take out their frustrations on the “nice” people around them. Still true today. So, acceptance and understanding are key but, with limits. I’ve learned to be friends with people who treat me good and cast off those who do not.
And yes, the words will always be there but we learn to choose our battles along life’s way and to accept others as they are, not how we perceive them to be. And we have to believe that there is good in everyone we encounter, some more than others.
I like that you say we have to choose our friends carefully and have friends who will be positive and supportive of us as individuals…
but….the hard part is that these horrible memories happen WHEN WERE ARE KIDS. and we never really listened to parents or adults when they tried to advise us……we are young and naive, we want to be socially accepted…..
plus damn bullies in school…..
and I think its really our youth that develops us, and these horrible memories of “the cool kids” not accepting us and the bully beating us up are the most damaging….and I dont know how to help kids going through this….they just need to experience it and maybe we as adults have to just try our best to be supportive.