Reflections from visit with nana, indirect pressure

In family friends by Michael Michelini12 Comments


Just arrived back home, my grandmother (nana) lives in the next retirement community so its a quick drive over. Spent some evening hours talking with her, and my 2 uncles – Uncle Steve and Uncle Gary. I was reminded how rough the USA economy still is……as my uncle Gary is still without a job and Steve is getting by.

Nana is getting stronger, she had been in the hospital late last year (which was giving me reason to rush back to USA from China)…but she has recovered, and is instead at home with my uncles taking care of her.

They asked so many questions about China, how is it to live there, do I speak the language (well, a little bit…), relationships, business (how much do I make…kinda secret…not so much!!), just bombardment about questions. I guess I love it, I try my best to give accurate statements about China…I jsut say what I have seen and if I haven’t seen or experienced it, it may still be possible. Like Uncle Gary spoke about “green cities” in china that are running off low power and using alternative energy – I never saw or heard of it, it may be in China, but not that I know of. Not just this visit tonight, but all the time now in USA I’m getting off the wall questions about things in China someone has heard about. Maybe they are true…

Another amazing thing – THEY ARE READING MY BLOG regularly! Uncle Steve printed out my blog for nana to read (well the facebook note from my blog) and uncle steve had really enjoyed reading my posts….reading excerpts from various posts like my landing in jfk and struggling to use a payphone to my experience in a chinatown filipino chinese wedding and who the girl Sarah was, and how the ceremony was. Its almost mindblowing to think how much this blog has reached, and that people are actually reading it. I’ve been blogging for over 3 years now, but seems its finally being read!? Awesome, better late then never.

So nana was quiet most of the night, listening to me and my uncles talking, when we asked her if she had any questions for me, she said:

When are you getting married?

Jeez, I guess I should expect that, I am 29, she was married much younger then that. My uncles – Steve and Gary, never got married. They explained they had never met the right girl – Gary saying that either the girl liked him and he didnt like her or vice versa. My dad and mom have been happily married for around 35 years, and everyone supports that and is happy for them. Marriage is tough these days, seems extra pressure, on top of it seems so easy for people to get divorsed, almost supportive. But yes, I keep hearing about my friends getting married while I’m out in China – and now just attended a bachelor party, but I’m gonna keep living life, working on developing myself as a person, growing stronger, and seeing where life takes me.

But seeing my family has INSPIRED ME. I need to fight to build my business, my future. Kinda feel INDIRECT PRESSURE from this trip. The world is such a big place…I’m trying to “take over the world” and coming home has opened my eyes… my family, my life, my roots.

I want to prove something. Do it for Nana!

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  1. Do it for Nana! – some good power there. I once used the power of my love for my family to do good in my life. It’s amazing how powerful those forces can be in empowering you to overcome very difficult problems.

    Several Christmas ago while I was in school I made a promise to my middle brother that I would stop playing a video game that was my escape from life for the majority of the year prior. I promised to quit an addiction that had consumed me – I promised to give reality a shot again. In the 5+ years since I’ve only touched the game once or twice in passing.

    I leverage the power of my love for my family to force myself to do something that was frighteningly difficult for me to do alone. I hope as a parent I will correctly leverage my power over my children to help them realize their potential and overcome their most difficult obstacles. I think it’s so easy for men to forget and misuse that power when our lives are too focused on worldly achievements – we shouldn’t!

    May love always ignite and empower you – and never weigh you down!

    1. Author

      thanks bro – yes I think its family….that can influence us positively or negatively. Of course we are our own person….but man, its a struggle sometimes to get outside of our traditional family ways. I’ll do it for Nana for sure man! Fight fight fight!

      What video game you talking a bout? seems like a good one for me to try! cheers

      1. o god don’t play one of them! I was on final fantasy 12 for a while then World of Warcraft – the ultimate virtual world escape 🙂

        1. have to cut in…
          as for vedio games, the world is so so so small…

  2. love reading your blogs. it’s great to see that you have such a great support system from family and friends. i can’t wait to see you take over the world!

  3. Mike,your nana is kind and lovely. suprised and touched while reading “when are you getting married”. my grandma asked me same question too. yes, love and support from family are very important and influence us a lot.

    1. Author

      Hey Melissa.
      Thanks for commenting! Yes. While cultures are different in some ways – respect and honor to your family is in all….it is good to see she is well taken care of and happy.

      I can only imagine living that long…..and looking at my younger family – probably can see a lot of things the younger generation cannot.

  4. take my regards to your nana! i’ve got a nana who is in her 90th, i guess they are contempories, right? it always reminds how much the world has changed. you know when they were at our ages, it would be the wildest dream to imagine stepping on the other’s country. but now, well, things have changed so much!
    about marriage, that’s an issue i really interested about. will it be acceptable for the family that a person just don’t marry all his or her life? in my hometown, i feel this pressure.but as you point out, there is no easy way out. maybe even harder here…

    1. Author

      Yes, imagine if your nana and my nana could have met! Or even talked for that matter……my grandmother barely even uses the phone….

      Its jsut amazing to this how far technology and communication has taken us… now be able to contact anyone in the world so quickly, and for free most of the time.

      the biggest setback now is the time difference and the 16 hour flight from NEw York to Hong Kong!

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