Life Changes When You Become a Parent
Mike’s Blog 103
Pretty obvious, but worth discussing – when you become a parent it is probably the biggest life change one can undertake. Friday nights turn from happy hour to disney hour. Saturday mornings turn from nursing hangovers to “hop on pop” sessions. The list goes on and on, and basically my whole life’s schedule has adjusted.
For some, this is something to fear and dread – and to be honest – for me it was something I also feared the change. I thought I would lose my sharpness in business, lose the hustle, and get disconnected from the world.
But in reality, it helped me cut out the BS, focus on what is most important in my life and my business, and take things to the next level. Heard it from someone else, its like things in life become screaming obvious what is most important and what is just excess fat. I am still craving more focus in my life and in my business as there is still a long way to go – but believe I have made drastic improvements.
Is it soley due to being a parent, becoming a father? Probably not.
We can change whenever we accept we are not happy where we currently are, and want to go in a different direction. I’m also in my mid 30s now (closer to 40 than 30 – wow, scary!) and probably ten years in China, over 15 years doing my own business, and a host of life changing events in my life have been part of making the change. But a kid is a big life changer.
Other friends have seen me lose weight and become more healthy since having a kid. They laugh and say isn’t the opposite what happens- you become fat and lazy? Maybe it is a reflection on how you want to live. Many guys say, well I can get fat and out of shape now because I’m married and I don’t nee to attract women in my life anymore. But for me, I’m not staying healthy and in shape to attract women, I’m doing it to be more productive and effective in my limited waking hours of my life. Each day we are closer to death. It is a race against the clock to enjoy life, to make the most of it. I’m tired of waking up with hangovers having no recollection of what happened the night before. I prefer to be fully awake and aware of what is happening. Plus I love my mornings.
Having a kid gives you more restrictions and boundaries – but maybe that helps us become more structured. I get more done in less time now. I used to work day and night and think I was working, but probably half the time being unproductive. Now, I work my butt off every single morning to be able to enjoy afternoons taking my kids on a bike ride, or picking up Miles from school.
When someone wants to meet me for a business opportunity, I think about the lost time from my family. My kids are already getting so big, so fast – and I analyze every action in my business as time away from my family.
Time is our only asset, and especially when my kids are so young and impressionable, I want to spend as much time with them as possible.
Plus, I love to be a productivity geek. I love seeing that I can achieve so much in restricted amounts of time. One productivity book I read made a good point – how come when there are 4 day work weeks, or half days of work before holidays, we are all able to get the same amount of work done as if it was a full day or five day work week? Its because we work based on the restrictions we have. So I love working in 30 minute blocks (pomodoros) on one specific task, and planning those out for each morning. And the motivation is I get to ride my bike to Miles’s school to pick him up after lunch.
What is your motivation? Kids? Friday night? Women? Video games?