Been almost a week now since leaving America, and I can’t help but feel I have:
a) Increased my business contacts and leads exponentially – between the networking events, face time with people I have been working with, and over all hustling around the USA in 2 months, I have built up a new long list of business contacts and ways to work new angles
b) Got some quality time with family – Most of my family is in Florida, and I was able to spent about a week and a half with parents, visit to grandma and the uncles, as well as cousin Alicia in Orlando. Even squeezed in a day trip in NYC with Uncle Bill. I didn’t get to see my sister in Milwaukee, or my cousins in Vermont…but hey…..
c) Missed out on some old friends – getting scolded a bit from some friends that I didn’t get to visit while in USA….jeeez, I tried my best, I was open about where I was and when…..I made some open invites to some get-togethers….if I lose friends because of this, then I guess maybe they weren’t really a friend?
And it was difficult not to feel like I was using people…..crashing on couches, getting rides from train station to bus station, maybe if I wasn’t a hustling entrepreneur I could budget rental cars and hotels in all those cities I went to…..but its amazing I can even afford the flights and train tickets to all these places. And I would constantly thank, and offer gift, dinner, etc….trying my best….
This was the most stressful part….I guess its because I hate to ask for favors. Hate to not have control…..to not be able to come and go from a place when I need to or have to. I don’t know many who can…..when you get hungry, tired to go to sleep, or have to go to another event / meeting / get together. And then I will try to connect people, introduce others. In the past, I have been told I should not mix up various groups of friends, because their lifestyles are so far apart it is awkward. I wonder about that still, as I think meeting people from different lifestyles is valuable and important to grow as a person.
I know, I am too sensitive…..
But also taking back my idea to stay in New York City has maybe lost confidence in some of my friends…..I got overexcited, and realized it was going to take a lot more money and time and patience for the sales and business to develop in USA versus staying overseas and developing it.
Life is life, my decision is made. And I have to be selfish, or I will never be happy right?
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby
I’m just going to keep on moving forward, I’m still friendly to those I didn’t see, but feel maybe they have discounted our friendship as we didn’t touch base face to face after so long.
But the USA trip was good for business, and for family, so that is what I should focus on, right
Comments
scolded from friends that they didnt get to see you???? man i had the other end of the deal – i feel like I saw too much of you 😉 just kidding man it was good to see you. you will see your friends again. I really like that bill cosby quote – the key to failure is trying to please everybody. man to think i try to do that a lot, please everybody. even simple things like – where do we go to lunch one person is vegeterian, the other doesnt like sandwiches, the next already had mexican food yesterday and they want to do something else today – you never win. great quote man! hope all is well back in the far east
glad you like that quote, i try to tell myself taht quote over and over again when I hear it…..
well even this blog, no comment love lately…guess i blog too much,….but i notice its dwindling since that USA trip…..
I guess I’ll just be a lonely traveler, people have given up on me being in 1 place
i think your blog gets read – just people dont comment if they have nothing to add. if you want more comment traffic – in each blog ask a general question or an opinion and people will chime in.
for example – do you think trying to please everyone is a key to failure? and maybe people will reply and give some examples
or ask people what they think proper etiquette is for coming back into town, how much of an effort should a person make to see everyone.
maybe, but i feel i was blogging / writing in the same fashion months ago when there were comments
to be honest, blog traffic is up 50% in the past few months. mostly from google.
but also i notice most of my comments come on facebook and twitter
i’ll try some questions in the future posts
Don’t worry – you don’t owe anyone (in NYC, China, or anywhere else an explanation or an apology for staying/not staying in any one place. Just build your business and don’t waste time. 80/20 rule – always. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle
Thanks Marshall…
Yes after our couple days chatting in Shenzhen, I know what I gotta do, get down to the Philippines and manage an army of website and social media workers! lets rock, and the story continues
I got a deep feeling reading your lines about “losing” some old friends because of certain change in life. I also experienced that and felt pretty upset from time to time. But you’re right. Real friends do stay there for you. I tend not to make any unnecessary assumption til I’ve really figured out how my friends see me as a friend.
Wellm, at the same time, your post made me smile, as I rarely hear a businessman saying these things. Maybe it’s kind of a stereotyping, I just feel that the majority of Americans tend to be quite individualists that many of them would think it is either business or friends that we can choose. It seems to me they would carefully not get things mixed, and for some of them, to a greater extent that, they put their career way over family, not to mention about friends, as if it is normal and they really get used to that.
I think it’s a process, and a way for us to figure out more about others and ourselves. I guess there’s also something to learn for applying in business. =] it’s always a cycle.
thanks again for your nice comment Emily. Yes I am deep thinker…and I think aloud on this blog….
yes, I try to tell myself life is a roller coaster, especially the life as a small businessman…..some days will be great, others will be hard and seem like life is over.
I do have to agree with you, that many Americans really separate business and life……at least those who have normal careers and lives…..they come to the office at 9am and work till 5pm, then leave and go to their home and friends.
In China, isnt it the same though? Well, maybe sales and other people have dinner meetings after hours or on weekends….but unless you are business owner, you can separate your life and work.
But I do have to agree, in China many people live and work together….intigrating their business life and work life together…getting their family in on it ….
I always remember Chinatown NYC, so many businesses have the husband, wife, grandma, grandma, kids, etc helping the business…..and in dinners always talking business……
Chinese are very hard workers.
But in USA, seems people are more comfortable, this was also a reason for my relocating to China back in 2007….