Putting More Internal Pressure on Myself then Ever Before

Sorry to those around me…but I am on a rampage the past couple weeks….I am just fighting like never before…..That is how I deal with things….I come at them head on. I need to be aggressive….I didn’t come this far, all the way out here to China, to get lazy, drink beer, and try to get other people to pay for my life.

I came here to build a business. I was considering the MBA investment, but I instead decided to invest in building a international business between China and USA. To build a future for myself and for my family. To build strong cashflows and a scalable business model.

And I see more clearly now, more then ever, what I need to do to make things work:

1) Focus on projects and clients that make money. Sounds easy, right? Yea…sure, especially being in China, every damn day I get an email from someone who has “the next big idea” that I am so fortunate to be considered to help them source in China for them. Sure, I love new opportunities, considering new business ventures. And I am honored that friends and associates come to me with their “baby” that they lose sleep over. But its also not fair for me to engage myself into a business that I cannot fully offer my time and support. No matter what I say, I think I can have someone else manage the project – it seems to always come back to me and haunt me. So I say FOCUS on projects that will bring steady cashflow or recurring revenues in a foreseeable future on a clear timeline. No more “hail mary” passes for a while, I don’t have the time or the money to afford to use that time.

2) Surround myself with a qualified network – I don’t want to say those I may consider “un-qualified” for business are losers. I’m not some stuck up prick. I mean building a network who can build off each other, in a similar field or product line.

I do ecommerce between USA and China. And I focus in the home, bar, gift, and entertainment product lines.

So, while before I was expanding my network anywhere and anyway I could. I am realizing “quality over quantity” – similar to my FOCUS point above. If you are in those fields above, then hopefully we can mutually help each other grow and succeed. If not, maybe we can grab a beer at the bar on Friday and be friends.

3) Don’t be so concerned about others thinking of you – I think this has always been a weakness of mine.

part a) I am too nice, (yea…sometimes a pushover) – and then all of a sudden I will explode once I reach my limit in a particular relationship / confrontation. Its extreme nice or extreme anger with me. I know I should change this.

part b) I want to be everyone’s friend – I have been able to do well in “political” environments, where I am able to understand both sides of a given situation, be able to get both parties sides. I am normally trusted to be given secret information. And then I usually “win votes” to get elected president in my high school, university, fraternity pledge class.

I don’t want to give up those 2 images of myself. But I am learning (especially in China) that (translated quote)

“If you make you’re self out to be an ass (donkey), people won’t feel guilty to ride you”. I think thats the Chinese business environment. Dog eat dog, survival of the fittest. AND IT HAS CHANGED ME.

Changed for better or for worse? Well, stronger for sure. Hopefully not too “thick sknned” and insensitive enough. But sure, we all change in life. Its part of life, and growing as an individual.

So I apologize to those around me, staff, clients, suppliers, I have been on a RAMPAGE lately….really fighting to shape up the business around me. I want things to get more clear, more scalable, and then hopefully I CAN TAKE A DAMN VACATION.

(note: this is my personal blog, I can say what I like, and you’re reading it this far because you must be interested).