Temple Retreat #6: Continued Search for Meaning

Recovering from one of the more physically challenging retreats - my 6th temple experience now. Many of these have been at Wat Umong, and this one was as well. My father-in-law is in town and joined me for the journey.

We entered the temple meditation center at 8:30am on Friday, July 3, 2026, for a 3-day experience.

Pushing My Limits with Fasting and Extended Meditation

This time I wanted to challenge myself more. I didn't eat since dinner the night before (Thursday) and set a mission to fast the entire time until Sunday evening.

Being on my 6th retreat, I know the rhythm well: wake up at 5:30am, meditation at 6am, cleaning (sweeping the temple) at 7am, breakfast at 7:30am (skipped), break, meditation 9:30am-10:30am, lunch at 11am (skipped), afternoon session 2pm-3pm, more sweeping at 4pm, chanting at 6pm, and bed around 9pm.

On top of the fast, I extended the meditation sessions: 1.5 hours in the morning (9:30am-11am) and a 2-hour session in the afternoon (2pm-4pm). Sitting only - no getting up during these sessions for extra intensity.

Experiencing Suffering and Practicing Vipassana

Definitely could feel more of the "suffering." Re-reading To See the Truth sharpened my preparation for deeper mindfulness.

Many of us, myself included, think meditation is primarily samatha - that warm and fuzzy feeling when focusing on an object like your breath. The more advanced and impactful type is vipassana, where you "watch" your mind (the watcher) and separate "you" from your body, consciousness, mental formations, feelings, and memory.

The pain from hunger, the soreness in my back and legs during 2 hours of sitting - it became practice in separating "you" from the pain and observing it as not you.

Saturday night I got a bad headache in bed, likely from the fasting. I told myself, "the headache is not me." Hard to believe, but the headache lessened its potency!

Some meditation sessions got deeply emotional - confronting suffering and the separation of what we think is "me." It got quite sad, making me wonder about the point of this loop until our body passes away. Very emotional on Saturday afternoon.

Returning Home and Lessons from Greed

Coming back Sunday afternoon, Wendy and the kids picked up my father-in-law and me. I was anxious to see them. Some rice porridge was ready - I chowed down in the car around 4pm on Sunday, July 5.

But then I got greedy. There was pizza waiting (I had some after the last retreat too), and I overdid it. Within minutes, my stomach turned to knots of extreme pain.

I won't get too graphic, but let's just say there were many trips to the restroom that night as the pizza came back up. More pain, more suffering - this time from my own greed and impatience.

Another powerful lesson.

Sharper Mind and Ongoing Practice

It's Monday mid-morning, July 6 (late start due to the rough night), and I can already feel sharper. Life is what you make of it. You need to be mindful of your mind - notice yourself when happy, angry, in pain, or experiencing any of the aggregates, and realize that is not you. That is a vessel. You are in the here and now and must be present. Don't get lost in thought without paying attention - most of us are still dreaming all day.

I'm not saying I'm some guru now, but after 6 of these experiences and re-reading books like Psycho-Cybernetics and To See The Truth, it's a much-needed refresher.

But jeez, my stomach is still in knots and this one is hard to separate from "myself." Tough pain to endure. No pain, no gain.